Dear diary,

well obviously this is not a diary. This is a blog which i've made like my own diary so you guys don't ask me why if I keep saying "Dear diary" and all that stuff. Okay?

So, today was the day that i've made my decision to do blog again which means that I have left these kind of things a loooooongg time ago. Since these past few years, it is a Hell for me and I hope that this year, I will not be in hell AGAIN. This will be in Dwibahasa because i'm still learning to speak and writes in english. So jangan nak bash. kk, continue,

Just cut the crap. Long story short, i've made an entry about my past but that is on my old blog which I have deleted it. Taknaklah benda dah lepas datang balik right? So we just have to move on eventhough diri ni takmove on sangat. Still trying. Like i've said, these past few years had been so rough for me and I couldn't catch a breath. So hard to move, to think, to say and to do anything. All I can say is i'm totally in my own hell. Just because of that one fking boy that have ruined my life. So silly right? It's not that I don't have any friends nor my family, I do but sometimes when all of the memories came flashing back, you just don't know what to do. And despite of doing anything, i'm doing nothing and just driven away with all of my emotions. Yeah well, because of that i've became heartless for over idk, 3 years? Then i've met this guy. He lived not so far from my house. He's older than me and guess what? I don't really like older guy. HAHAHAHA. I've met him last year on november I guess. We've known at Wechat and I thought that I can prevent myself to loved someone but idk, he's different. And so, he know my past and we're ended up having a relationship. At first I don't trust him because i'm risking my heart and yeah. it didn't work out well. BUT ! As time goes by, we're still together. Biasalah gaduh, tumbuk, pijak, tendang and all that stuff. Takkan semuanya nak sweet je enn, mesti ada yang pahit juga. 

He is so different. like SO DIFFERENT ! All of the guy that i've known, he is the first one that is different. Yeah, I taktahu nak kata dia macam mana. I don't want to make things look weird so I just say that he's so damn weird. That's all. fullstop. Even his attitude macam tu, idk why I still loved him, still care about him and want him. he's a gobad boy if you know what I mean. 

Haritu dia ada hantar makanan which is Shawarma and pulut mangga. First time makan so I was like jakun gilaa. And he is the first person yang hantar makanan for me. Malam pula tu. My mom and dad bising sebab I lepak depan rumah dengan lelaki and biasa lah kalau dah lepak malam depan rumah jiran dok mengata. Emm, mulut orang takboleh nak tutup padahal hantar makanan je kot. Dammit. I don't blame the neighbours, I just blame their bad mouth. Bila I habis kerja, dia always hantar balik but not sampai depan rumah sebab kalau dad nampak nanti dia lagi bising but tu waktu cuti bulan 12. Emm, bila dah masuk january, he doesn't have time to walk me home. I understand that you're busy babe. Dengan college, member, etc. 

What else? Ohh ! I'm officially 20 this year. I'm not old right? hahahaha. emm, cepatnya masa berlalu. My face gets even hideous. Sebab apa? i'm wearing an expired things. Dammit !! Tulah, suka simpan barang lama lama. Sumpah makin teruk, taktipu. emmm, so everyday I tepek bedak sejuk and aloe vera to heal my face. I HATE YOU PIMPLES AND SCARS. GIVE MY FACE BACK !