Dear diary,
Today I've been messing around, yeah well sort of. I met him, date with him well not-so-called a date but I've seen him today. He looks terrible. Maybe lack of sleep cause yesterday he goes to not-to-be mentioned in here. Yaa well you already know. My phone is dying act but I will make it suffer till the day "it" die. So please don't die today or tomorrow or in another 2 years.

So, let's talk about today shall we?
I'm not doing much. Just spending my money buying stuff and we have a lunch at Quan and it is not so good like seriously. Salah order. After that we're going to KLCC. what are we doing there? Let's just say I want to see him so badly and it hurts me a lot lately. So we spend our time searching for his cap. Not to be mentioned, he is so picky. He's not doing really well lately. Torturing his body and mind I guess. He looks like a corpse but he still can walk... like a zombie. And I still love him and always do even if he is a zombie. Yaaaa just kidding.
Even if he's bad and does really bad things in his life, he can always change but we may not know when. I want to be there when he needs me, through thick and thin. I want to be the one that can courage him and make him feel that he can do better and I don't wanna lose him.
But I'm gonna hurt myself. And I will feel the pain and burden because I know what he's doing. And one way to not feel that kind of feelings is to shut my emotions. Yeah well you think I'm crazy but I've done this thing before and it really works. For almost three years I don't feel anything towards men. Ridiculous right? Sounds crazy but well thats me. I'm a weirdo like a super weirdo. I won't be gone too long. It's just an emotions. How bad can it be if we shut it right?